The one being in whom I saw and felt unconditional, pure love is lost..... I am not going to see him again. No matter what I do. No matter how much money I give. Even if I give my own life..... I am not going to see him again.
I would give everything I own and everything I ever earn to get him back.
A life has left this earth. Where do I look for him now? Where will I find him?
I just want someone to tell me that he will come back if you do this. I will do it...... But, there is no such thing.
It hurts so bad to know that I would never get to see him or touch him ever again. It hurts physically to even breathe.
It hurts if I do anything or nothing. It seems I cannot escape this pain.... in my heart.
Oh God. Why did you do this? You could have asked me anything in return and I would have gladly done it.
The one being who loved me for who I am, expecting absolutely nothing in return, who brought a smile to my face at any situation, is no more.
He is gone.
I am lost.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Beauty...
At 8:30am today, I opened my door to leave for work to lead my monotonous life..... and I just fell in love with one of the most exquisite beauty I had ever laid my eyes upon.
I felt as if I had been transfixed and a very nice feeling, Happiness, filled my heart.
My 2 eyes were just not sufficient to drink in all this beauty. I needed a thousand more to take in all this beauty and relish it.
All I wanted to do was just stand there and stare.
To spend the rest of my life looking at this beauty.
Hated the fact that I need to blink my eyes as I didnt want to lose sight of this beauty, even for an instant.
I fell in love with the sight in front of me.
I immediately wanted to capture this as I knew it wouldnt last. But a small voice in my head advised me not to capture this as that would remind me of what I would have lost.
I agreed with the voice in my head. I know that a reminder of this beauty would be more painful and I began to appreciate my forgetfulness on a new level.
I knew that the beauty in front of my eyes would not last. I knew that I wouldn't get to spend more than 10 maybe 20 mins with this beauty. But I thoroughly enjoyed those 20 mins that I got. The happiness that I felt in me and the smile that was on my face had been brought forth to me earlier by only a very few things.
I am not sad that the beauty did not last for me. I am happy that I had been fortunate enough to have been able to see and be in the presence of such beauty.
The beauty with whom I had fell in love with was NATURE.
It was/is snowing today. And it was one of the more beautiful sights my eyes have ever beheld. I dont have any words to describe it and I think it would be an injustice to even try to describe it.
I am truely happy that I am fortunate enough to have witnessed this beauty......
Hey I needed to document this as there aren't many a times that I am truely happy in life. :-)
I felt as if I had been transfixed and a very nice feeling, Happiness, filled my heart.
My 2 eyes were just not sufficient to drink in all this beauty. I needed a thousand more to take in all this beauty and relish it.
All I wanted to do was just stand there and stare.
To spend the rest of my life looking at this beauty.
Hated the fact that I need to blink my eyes as I didnt want to lose sight of this beauty, even for an instant.
I fell in love with the sight in front of me.
I immediately wanted to capture this as I knew it wouldnt last. But a small voice in my head advised me not to capture this as that would remind me of what I would have lost.
I agreed with the voice in my head. I know that a reminder of this beauty would be more painful and I began to appreciate my forgetfulness on a new level.
I knew that the beauty in front of my eyes would not last. I knew that I wouldn't get to spend more than 10 maybe 20 mins with this beauty. But I thoroughly enjoyed those 20 mins that I got. The happiness that I felt in me and the smile that was on my face had been brought forth to me earlier by only a very few things.
I am not sad that the beauty did not last for me. I am happy that I had been fortunate enough to have been able to see and be in the presence of such beauty.
The beauty with whom I had fell in love with was NATURE.
It was/is snowing today. And it was one of the more beautiful sights my eyes have ever beheld. I dont have any words to describe it and I think it would be an injustice to even try to describe it.
I am truely happy that I am fortunate enough to have witnessed this beauty......
Hey I needed to document this as there aren't many a times that I am truely happy in life. :-)
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